jueves, 31 de marzo de 2005

El pedacito de hule que perdió el rumbo

Este era un pequeño pedacito de hule de color amarillo, moldeado en forma circular y con un gran, gran orificio en el centro. Sus papis decidieron llamarle Livestrong, hacer millones de réplicas in vitro de ella y enviarlas a viajar por el mundo en una increíble travesía, con la interesante misión de recaudar fondos para una asociación que combate el cáncer alrededor del globo terráqueo... supuestamente...

Un día, llegó una señora de dudoso género, de nombre Pamola Andresen, se la puso en su muñeca y le hizo pasar el ridículo de su vida (a la pulserita).

Otro día, apareció una chiquilla plastificada, de nombre Britany Esparza y un batallón inmenso de clones del ambiente que se hace llamar musical, y también se la pusieron; las ventas se dispararon aún más.

El brazalete llegaría a México. Y sucedió lo inminente: Telerrisa y TV Apezta comenzaron a pelear, como hacen normalmente, por ver quién abarrotaba primero a su personal con este pedacito de hule amarillo, sin saber siquiera para qué servía. Al final, ambas compañías lo hicieron... incluso los muchachitos pepenches de una telenovela juvenil se sentían aún más rebeldes usándola... qué desastre...

El pedacito de hule se sentía acosado, admirado, aclamado, famoso, pero no era feliz. Los piratas lo abrumaban y lanzaban imitaciones de baja calidad sin conocer el verdadero fin de su existencia. Había perdido el rumbo; estaba inmerso en un aire de banalidad nunca antes visto...


Piratería al mayoreo... ¿alguien gusta?

3 de enero de 2005

Romeo: Hey, voy a pedir por internet el paquete de 10 pulseras Livestrong, ¿quieres una?
AmiguiRubiaDeRomeo: ¡¡¡Ay, sí!!! ¡¡¡Me regalas una, please!!!
Romeo: Bueno, cuando me lleguen te aviso.
AmiguiRubiaDeRomeo: ¿Y más o menos para cuando te llegan?
Romeo: {sarcasmo ON}Pues imagínate... las pido mañana, y tardan como 3 semanas en hacer el pedido, otras 3 semanas en enviarlas de EUA a México y otras 3 ó 4 semanas en mandarlas a Tampico, y luego nada más como 2 semanas en llevármelas a mi casa...{sarcasmo OFF}
AmiguiRubiaDeRomeo: ¡Ay no, entonces no!
Romeo: ¡¿Por qué?!
AmiguiRubiaDeRomeo: Porque para ese entonces ya nadie las va a traer...
Romeo: (saca su bazooka de dos metros y de un disparo le deja la cabeza como una Livestrong)

En realidad no lo hice, pero es que no me gusta aparecer en el periódico a menos que sea en la sección de la jai... aunque ganas no me faltaron...

Y sí... ¿En qué estábamos? Ah... sí, les estaba contando una historia, la verdad es que aún no termina, aunque para ser sincero, ni siquiera me importa qué vaya a ser de las pulserillas esas en un futuro, pero bueno... ¿alguien esperaba que escribiera algo con coherencia? Mal hecho... y menos ahorita que soy un herbívoro en toda la extensión de la palabra, pues mi dieta de ayer fueron dos manzanas y un Gatorade ("pa' que estés hidratado, m'ijo"), y la de hoy ha sido un caldo de pollo y medio melón... claro, acompañados de medio kilogramo de pastillas cuyo nombre ni siquiera recuerdo... bueno, es fin de mes, prometo criticar menos... saludos a todos...

45 comentarios:

Octopus Queque dijo...

yo quiero una pulserita que diga "Apoyo a AMLO"....bueno...no, de hecho no...de hecho esas pulseritas cuando te las pones, como que te asfixian y te sientes bien desacá por el amarillo casinomeveo....yo por eso hare las miasque dirán "Haz feliz a un perro y patealo" o algo así...

No, tampoco...
o si no pulseritas con la página de blogs famosos...

saludos!

Unknown dijo...

Excelente idea, Elza! ¿Cómo se vería "mrcougar.blogspot.com" en un brazalete blanco (por aquello del espacio en blanco) adornado con chaquira y mink? o.Ô

¡Ah no! Decía "blogs famosos"... :P

Lizeth Flores dijo...

pues si, ahora ya hacen esas pulseritas al mayoreo, ya pueden hacer las suyas jajaja apoco no se han dado cuenta, creo que les cobran como 200, por hacerles el ciento de pulceritas ya escojes tu los colores y una frasesilla kreo es con 2 palabras y si kieres agregarle mas palabras tienes ke pagar kreo 1 peso mas por c/pulserita, asi ke manden hacer las suyas jajaja ya no les digo por ke ya chole con esas cochinaditas estube apunto de comprar una para ayuda a los de asia, pero mejor hagan una llamada desde telmex y te llega a tu recibo del tel.... asi es mejor y mas rapido... saludos si es por una ayuda si no compren piratas pa ke se molestan comprando cosas de 100 varox

Chico Migrana dijo...

madres y las mascaras pa' la vida en cuanto salen????

Anónimo dijo...

Qué bueno!!

Me ha encantado tu relato: buena crítica social!!!!!!

PD. No dejes de criticar! Sin eso, ¿qué nos queda? Además, lo haces con clase, así que no me vale que lo dejes [pensaré que es por vago :Þ]

Eurídice

Anónimo dijo...

Odio a esa gente... estas vacaciones vino una de mis puber primas de chihuahua capital, y en una de mis idas al paso tx... que me dice (con cara de Britany la de Daria): "me traes una pulserita amarilla de esas que estan de moda!!!"... oohh... solo te dire que se me constriño hasta el esfinter anal!!!... te felicito por tu critica... yo hago lo que puedo entre mi circulo... tu tmb me caes bien...

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Luis Martínez Álvarez dijo...

Ja ja ja, ya lo sabía de tí, mi querido cougar... "ayyy ya no porque ya nadie las va a traer" en un comentario tuyo a un post pasado de mi blog.
Maldito fetichismo.

Saludos amigo.

Ginger dijo...

Jajajaja "incluso los muchachitos pepenches de una telenovela juvenil se sentían aún más rebeldes usándola" muy buena frase...mientras que yo me quede con las playeras NaCo para expresar mi rebeldia jajaja mi favorita es..."En vias de desarollo" o la de "Unisex" :)...te mando un beso

MissPennyL dijo...

jajaja buen post.

;)

Octopus Queque dijo...

"¡Ah no! Decía "blogs famosos"... :P "


jajaj!! nada más te haces el modesto!!!

Bel dijo...

Yo proclamando en mi blog que jamás le dedicaría un post entero a este tema de las pulseritas "Livestrong" y tú les dedicas dos posts enteros... bueno, quiero suponer que lo hiciste por mí :P o que no te podías quedar con las ganas de criticar, lo cual es muy bueno porque lo hiciste muy bien ;) saludos.

Unknown dijo...

Lizeth: sí, yo ya mandé a hacer las mías, posteriormente las promocionaré por aquí... la leyenda que tendrán en sorpresa... :o

Chico Migraña: se me acabaron las máscaras... con eso de que va a haber guerra biológica, muchos las querían usar en contra del ántrax... o.Ô

Nrd: pero cuidado, que si me dais cuerda no me parais! :P

Luke Skywalter: pa' mí que eres un clon de Sardina... jaja

Mariposa: ya te aparté una... luego te mando el pagaré...

El Mono: peeero... si el fetichismo es taaaaan liiiindoooo... ($$$)

Krox: que viva el ocio...

Ginger: me ha dejado pensando lo de tu camisa "Unisex"...

Janistika: ;) Vuelve pronto

Elza (otra vez jaja): lo digo en serio, acuérdate que los famosos usan Livestrong y YO NO :P

Belinda: es que dije "pues si Belinda no criticó, entonces yo lo hago también por ella" jajaja

12 comments... hablo en serio cuando digo: quiero chillar :'(

Anónimo dijo...

hola XD oye me encanta y me da muchisisisima risa como criticas todo este asunto de las pulseritas de veradd, a mi me gustan por que son para algo bueno, pero ya todo juarez y el paso las trae! que sinceramente mejor doy dinero sin pulserita para esas cosas.... me dio muchisisisisima risa eso de "telerrisa" y "tv apesta" o no recuerdo como era. jajajaja de plano me rei un buen! :P
saludillos !

Larissa dijo...

jajajajaja me gusta mucho como escribes, no dejes de hacerlo, muy buen post! Y esto de las pulceritas es la prueba más fehaciente de la influencia de la 'moda' ya que muchas personas las traen y ni siquiera saben para qué son, o bien compran algunas creyendo que ayudaran a niños en Asia o a Greenpeace y resulta que no existen campañas por parte de estas organizaciones para recaudar fondos y a quienes benefician son a unos estafadores. Ni qué hacer el mundo en el que nos tocó vivir! jajajaja

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Unknown dijo...

Little porn star: Oh, sí... yo sé que me divertiría allá en Juárez contando a los monos que traen esas :P

Larisa: oooo seeaaa queee...??? mmm... mi pulserita verde que dice Grinpís es falsa??? buaaaah!!!! :'(

¡¡¡Y un aplauso para Don Anonymous que ya merito aprende a usar su teclado!!!

Y un aplauso para mí que sigo contestando comentarios porque no puedo escribir posts... :(

Noxiouz dijo...

pues q triste,yo tengo la original pero ni la uso jajajaja
saludos y esas cosas

Octopus Queque dijo...

por qué no puedes escribir posts? pssss dejas a tus fans hambrientos!!! grrr

por cierto, sali del cascaron (oza de la hueva) y por fin pude linkearte n_n
Saludillos!

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